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AFTERGLOW

by Jeannie Novak

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1.
Star 04:27
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I sat on the grass Waiting for your car to arrive Waiting for my life to move on Waiting for you I sat on the grass Waiting for your car to arrive Waiting for my life to begin Waiting for you I didn’t think it through I dropped everything I knew Waiting for you Waiting for you From the corner of my eye You almost passed me by Blasting music through the air You were old enough to care I sat in the sand Waiting for the perfect man Waiting till I’m red, not tan Waiting for you I sat in the sand Getting buried and broken My words are unspoken Waiting for you Strumming your guitar Your hands dripping with tar My sandcastle was crushed It didn’t worry you as much Strolling on the beach You were just out of reach A dusty tornado Putting on a show I was your star Shining through the window on a cloudy day I was your star Revealing every secret that you hid away You went too far Don’t you remember who we are I tried my best to stay But my light faded away I’m staring down the street Waiting for the perfect beat Waiting ‘til my voice gets weak Waiting for you I’m staring down the street Hoping you don’t lose your way Wondering if you’ll find me today Waiting for you Now you appear before my eyes Spoiling their surprise Wearing a party hat Carrying a baseball bat You showered me with doubt As you blew my candles out My only wish is gone My friends all left at dawn I sat in your car Waiting for the engine to start Waiting for it to fall apart Waiting for you I sat in your car Waiting for the perfect rhyme While the signal clicked in time Waiting for you When you put your foot on the gas All I saw was broken glass You were going the wrong way And didn’t know the light had changed While I’m locked inside My eyes are open wide As the flames grow higher You roast marshmallows by the fire I was your star Shining through the window on a cloudy day I was your star Revealing every secret that you hid away You went too far Don’t you remember who we are I tried my best to stay But my light faded away I was your star Shining through the window on your darkest day I was your star Revealing every secret that you hid away You went too far Don’t you remember who we are I tried my best to stay But my light faded away
2.
Lies 03:11
lyrics
Sitting right here on the window sill Looks like I’m out of luck Crawling on the catwalk I’m just a sitting duck Hanging from a branch I feel your claws scratching me A snap – and I fall flat Sitting right here on the window sill It’s like you never left Crawling on the catwalk I’m just out of breath Hanging from the rafters You shine your spotlight on me You snap – and I fall flat I want the truth It’s overdue Lost my youth To someone new A pack of lies Try it on for size Wearing your disguise Swatting all the flies A pack of lies You only think you’re wise But I see through those eyes Standing right there on the sidewalk Looks like you’re out of luck Skipping on the railroad tracks You’re just a sitting duck Hanging by a thread You feel gravity take hold A snap – and you fall flat Standing right there on the sidewalk It’s like you’re still around Skipping on the railroad tracks You never heard the sound Hanging by your fingertips With floodlights all around I snap – and you fall flat I found the truth It was overdue Lost my youth To someone new A pack of lies Try it on for size Wearing your disguise Swatting all the flies A pack of lies You only think you’re wise But I see through those lies It’s your only tactical groove It’s your only practical move Lies, only lies Tell a lie It’s the only gambit you know It’s the only garden you grow Lies, only lies A pack of lies Try it on for size Waving your disguise Swatting all the flies A pack of lies You only think you’re wise But I see through those eyes
3.
Into the Night 03:20
lyrics
There's no more light The birds have taken flight No obligations in sight Fade into night We'll make it right Things aren't as bad as they seem We'll mend our broken dream Enter the night Try as we might We plot and we scheme To recover our stolen dream Ever so slightly My thoughts begin to fight me Without taking either side Maybe tonight We'll make it right Things aren't as bad as they seem We'll mend our broken dream Into the night Try as we might We plot and we scheme To recover our stolen dream This is the dream we left so long ago Sometimes I wonder if we're right Aching through our fearful trying Is it any wonder it won't take flight Things aren't as bad as they seem We'll mend our broken dream
4.
Diagonal Man 03:14
lyrics
You crisscrossed through the ice Carved up your dreams for a price Looking for a big windfall You just ignored my advice Washed away a piece of paradise For a life that was too small Throwing everything into the air Never hiding your eyes from the glare You might never commit Because you just don’t fit Diagonal man Will you take my hand I’ll catch you Diagonal man Will you understand What we’ve been through Don’t you worry about the view The world is big enough for you You flip-flopped through the land A twisted path for a crooked man Waiting for the afterglow You weren’t sure what they had planned Dusted your footprints on the sand Beneath a sky that was too low Crouching through doorways everywhere Never letting anybody care With you it’s gloom and doom Because there’s no room Diagonal man Will you take my hand I’ll catch you Diagonal man Will you understand What we’ve been through Don’t you worry about the view The world is big enough for you Everything’s gonna be all right tonight Just take my hand and let me be your guide We can fly through this whole town tonight Creating all our dreams on sight Diagonal man Will you take my hand I’ll catch you Diagonal man Will you understand What we’ve been through Don’t you worry about the view The world is big enough for you Don’t you worry about the view The world is big enough for you
5.
Time Has Changed Us 02:59
lyrics
Sitting in a darkened room There’s something missing here The picture on the TV blurs And I dry my tears All night long I think of you Are you really gone I clutch the pillow as I wake It was just a dream The morning sun blinds my eyes The only light I’ve seen All day long I think of you Are you really gone Time has changed us The world can’t blame us For wanting more than we could give And hoping that we’d always stay together The nights get longer all the time As I hold you in my mind The memories just won’t let me be And I know they’ll always Stay with me But the pain will go away And time will go on Time, time to move on Time, time has hurt me All this time I thought love would last But time has gone by so fast Time has changed us The world can’t blame us For wanting more than we could give And hoping that we’d always stay together Time has changed us The world can’t blame us For wanting more than we could give And hoping that we’d always stay together
6.
Happy Now 03:31
lyrics
I wouldn’t bet my life on a dream But you graced my path as I swam upstream Softly I hear your voice in my ear But now it’s too late, there’s no one here Well, I hope that you’re happy now Gliding through life above the clouds How could I have known What love had in store You took it away There’s nothing more I couldn’t bear to see you there With your new life, so much to share Gently I hear your footsteps so near Nothing’s the same, now you’re not here Well, I hope that you’re happy now Gliding through life above the clouds How could I have known What love had in store You took it away There’s nothing more I didn’t realize what I had With you in my life, always on demand Now I fear our last moment is near Just one more look before you disappear Well, I hope that you’re happy now Gliding through life above the clouds How could I have known What love had in store You took it away There’s nothing more I wouldn’t bet my life on a dream
7.
Stay With Me Now 04:58
lyrics
All through the years Wish we knew each other longer All through the tears Still our friendship has grown stronger I haven’t seen you for the longest time I really didn’t want to bother I read your letter, it felt like a sign But the path seemed so much longer Stay with me now in a dream Don’t let me go even if I scream Years will pass Some love will last But we will soon depart Friendship will thrive through the pain I’ll never know if I’m to blame I’ll take the blows I rightly chose And vanish into the night Before today The world seemed a little brighter I lost my way And I’m not much of a fighter I haven’t seen you for the longest time I didn’t know how to tell you I read your letter, it felt like a sign Even though I knew what we’d been through Stay with me now in a dream Don’t let me go even if I scream Years will pass Some love will last But we will soon depart Friendship will thrive through the pain I’ll never know if I’m to blame I’ll take the blows I rightly chose And vanish into the night Here in the darkness I still see light There in the window it’s getting bright You’ve come to take me with you but I’m not ready to go Someone else has hurt me, it’s impossible to know That I haven’t seen you for the longest time I really didn’t want to bother I read your letter, it felt like a sign But the path seemed so much longer Stay with me now in a dream Don’t let me go even if I scream Years will pass Some love will last But we will soon depart Friendship will thrive through the pain I’ll never know if I’m to blame I’ll take the blows I rightly chose And vanish into the night I’ll take the blows I rightly chose And vanish into the night
8.
Here at Home 04:35
lyrics
If you put your life aside And you’re so afraid, you hide If you’re saving for yesterday Take it from me It’s a lonely price to pay Silver wings on distant shores Leave me aching for more You speak as if you already knew The ways of this world But is that really true They say this is freedom But is it a lie Or is just something to Ease my mind I’ve spent all of my life just wasting time But I should have known you’d be waiting Right here at home If love is nearly gone And it’s feeling so wrong Is it worth starting over again Just one more time With you, my closest friend At least we’re not standing still But we keep testing our will Time to see if you understand Are you ready Why don’t you hold out your hand They say this is freedom But is it a lie Or is just something to Ease my mind I’ve spent all of my life just wasting time But I should have known you’d be waiting Right here at home They say this is freedom
9.
Frontier 03:59
lyrics
Why do they look at me that way Do I seem that strange Wondering if I’ll ever see the other side The birds are singing to me every single day Why don’t they all want me to stay Their words are a mystery to me But I can read their eyes If I cross the line, will they come for me Over there, it’s beautiful – and it’s beckoning to me But if I get through, will I be free At the crossroads of our lives It’s getting hard to survive And another part of me has died We’ll find another way To face another day Crying over time that’s slipping by A frontier away We’ll be swimming to our dream A frontier away Water’s deeper than it seems I’ve given my life for this moment A frontier away My eyes are watching, waiting But can I truly see Did another soul just smile back at me Am I accepted as I’ve turned out to be Have I come closer through the sea At the crossroads of our lives It’s getting hard to survive And another part of me has died We’ll find another way To face another day Grieving over time that’s slipping by A frontier away We’ll be swimming to our dream A frontier away It’s wider than it seems I’ve given my life for this moment But swimming in quicksand I reach out for your hand We fall back again And start over We’ll start over again Just around the bend Keeping every thought until the end It’s not far away We’re getting closer every day Nearing our destination Stopping our frustration – yeah Water’s deeper than it seems I’ve given my life for this moment But swimming in quicksand I reach out for your hand We fall back again And start over
10.
Until You Came Along 02:48
lyrics
All my life I’ve hungered for the rain All my dreams Have justified the pain Where have they gone I was wrong Until now I draw the shades But the light shines through I close my eyes But I still see you The past is gone I wasn’t strong Until you came along I couldn’t write this song Until you came along In my mind You’re always here with me I’ll do just fine You always make me see Where I belong I wasn’t strong Until you came along I couldn’t write this song Until you came along I couldn’t see the light Up ahead through the door Now I don’t have to fight For my place anymore Until you came along
11.
Arrival 04:05
lyrics
It will now begin Pull the curtain, let me in I am choking, bleeding, with nowhere to turn Around me I feel life pouring in This is all brand new Pull the blinds, but if you do Know I’m breathing, sharply, reaching for you Waiting for your arms Hold me While I get used to this Everything is shiny and bright Save me Until I see again There is no more light It has now begun And my fingers feel numb But I’m trying, grasping, playing for you With eyes that smile anew I tossed and turned Hoping to see the stars softly burn Bringing me life Just in time, I revived Hold me While I get used to this Everything is shiny and bright Save me Until I see again There is no more light This is how we met It’s a moment we’ll forget Now I’m thinking, slowly, looking for you As music rushes in I have now arrived, and you’re beside me I’m alive
12.
Mansions of Glory 04:07
lyrics
You said I was a question That you couldn’t answer Then you turned away With nothing more to say But I always knew You said we’d be friends forever That you thought I was so clever But you wanted more As long as I could please you When you walked through the door But I couldn’t follow ... Your rules and restrictions Cautiously crafted To shatter the beauty That we had created Just because you were too scared to find me Restless robots In crowded cages Metal monsters Within your pages We’re part of the story In your mansions of glory When you said you could never love me The pain washed over everything I could see I tried to survive And I kept myself alive You’ll never touch me again I can’t feel you And I thought I knew you Restless robots In crowded cages Metal monsters Within your pages We’re part of the story In your mansions of glory You said we’d be friends forever That you thought I was so clever But you wanted more As long as I could please you When you walked through the door But I couldn’t follow The door is now closed And over my shoulder The villain’s exposed Our story is over
13.
Trickster 03:30
lyrics
It’s all a blur, my thoughts aren’t so clear Out of the corner of my eye you appear Staring at me, trying to entertain You don’t move, it just hurts my brain I know you’re watching, but when I reach out You disappear and, I can’t help but shout Who can I trust Who can I fight This world is a mystery There’s so much to hide Your eyes are watching, but do you really see Fingers are pointing, but are they meant for me You think that I don’t see But you’re not fooling me I know nothing is truly as it seems Looking around, my eyes start to clear Creatures abound, and they seem so near Then nothingness, so I count to five When I sleep, do they come alive I know they’re breathing, but when I reach out They start to fade and, I can’t help but doubt Who can I trust Who can I fight This world is a mystery There’s so much to hide Their eyes are watching, but do they really see Fingers are pointing, but are they meant for me You think that I don’t see But you’re not fooling me I know nothing is truly as it seems You think that I don’t see But you’re not fooling me I know nothing is truly as it seems
14.
Stereotypical 03:23
lyrics
You thought you could do no wrong Dragging everyone along Springing back from what was gone Slipping through your fingers Living through it after all Taking back the afterglow Turning up the noise alone Itching for a purpose Scratching, scraping Shuffling in the dark Preening, playing Stitching up your heart Stereotypical Nothing new for you Stereotypical Take the longer view Spider weaves your web of choices You ignore the straining voices People said I had a choice Nothing but a raspy voice Trying to make change from the dice Rolling ‘til it hurts You continue to make noise Play with puppets, play with toys No one listens, but they roar Clothing the new emperor Scratching, scraping Shuffling in the dark Preening, playing Eating candy hearts Stereotypical Nothing new for you Stereotypical Take the longer view Spider weaves your web of choices You ignore the straining voices You walked the tightrope As you stumbled to one side You thought the net would catch you Every other time You missed a beat as you were Eating them alive But it’s eating you inside Spider weaves your web of choices You ignore the straining voices
15.
Once in a While 04:22
lyrics
My heart is heavy, my conscience bare Loneliness creeping on empty air Distracted by a moonbeam that dances in my eye I can’t help but wonder if it’s you up in the sky Still I can’t clearly see where I go or where I’ve been But looking at the moon, I know that you will let me in Once in a while, just by chance Caught in the wrong circumstance I feel the doubt when the moon goes out Nobody’s in sight But once in a while, you seem near Almost as though you were here My heart can fly, and I know that’s why I’m not afraid to fight What good are dreamers who stare at night And what good are moonbeams with clouded light I know you’re up there somewhere, how I wish that I knew where But my search would be more fitting if I had one dream to spare For I can’t see the use of spending dreams while you’re away If you would only wait for me I’ll be with you someday Once in a while, just by chance Caught in the wrong circumstance I feel the doubt when the moon goes out Nobody’s in sight But once in a while, you seem near Almost as though you were here My heart can fly, and I know that’s why I’m not afraid to fight Oh, once in a while, I go out of my mind When I look at the sky, and I see only darkness But I know it will shine if I only believe In the stars and the moon, and a picture of you For I can’t clearly see where I go or where I’ve been But looking at the moon, I know that you will let me in Once in a while, just by chance Caught in the wrong circumstance I feel the doubt when the moon goes out Nobody’s in sight But once in a while, you seem near Almost as though you were here My heart can fly, and I know that’s why I’m not afraid to fight
16.
Give Me My Heart 03:47
lyrics
Why do you say you want to hold me You don’t really know me Why do you say you want to be with me Well, I’m sorry but I just can’t see you anymore You say you’ll give me everything that I could ever need Will you give me my heart I’m asking right now Cause I know it’s gone I can’t feel it somehow Will you give me my heart I’m asking again Cause the love that’s gone Was the love I thought would never end Why don’t you stop and think about the past Maybe you’ll see why it didn’t last And if you look deeply into my eyes Maybe you’ll see why I just won’t try anymore There’s just no return when a part of me has been left to burn Will you give me my heart I’m asking right now Cause I know it’s gone I can’t feel it somehow Will you give me my heart I’m asking again Cause the love that’s gone Was the love I thought would never end Give me my heart Will you give me my heart I’m asking again Cause the love that’s gone Was the love I thought would never end
17.
Going Solo 03:34
lyrics
In your room In your tomb You might feel there’s no way out Don’t you run Change will come There’s an end to your struggle You think it’s not fun Being one But it’s worth it, I found out Just you wait Hesitate You’re gonna burst through your bubble You’re going solo Baby, it’s a fact It may feel different, but girl, that’s where it’s at Going solo Like an alley cat Make your move Find your groove This is where you should be In a pinch Just an inch Now you’re making those headlines It’s just you Pushing through Everybody can see Now you’re back You’re on track Nevermore on the sidelines ‘Cause you’re going solo Baby, it’s a fact It may feel different, but girl, that’s where it’s at Going solo Like an alley cat Don’t let them convince you that You’d be better off with two I know that score Just you alone Gives you so much more You’re not a doormat – oooh You’re an alley cat
18.
You're the Best 03:25
lyrics
It’s your time, you can do it You’ve waited long enough It’s your turn, just get through it You know, you’ve got the stuff Get ready to go, don’t be slow That army of fools, they all know Your secret is out There’s no need to shout It’s your chance to cross the ocean Now everything is set in motion Open the gate Feel the laughter lift you on your way out Make your escape from the rest And while we wait We’ll celebrate you as the bravest of us all ‘Cause you’ve already passed the test When you feel there’s no room to fall I’ve got your back If you think that they have it all It’s just an act Get ready to go, don’t be slow You just need a push, we all know We’ve been there before Beyond that door It’s your turn to rise above it You’re going to be a big hit Open the gate Feel the laughter lift you on your way out Make your escape from the past And while we wait We’ll celebrate you as the bravest of us all ‘Cause you’ve already aced the test You’re the best While you get ready to leave this place The rest of your life’s staring you in the face Those pictures and posts won’t mean what they mean today You won’t be around to hear the sounds Of sticks and stones and clinging crowds You’ve found your way You won’t go astray Open the gate, feel the laughter Make your escape from the past And while we wait, we’ll celebrate you ‘Cause you’ve already aced the test Just remember You’re the best
19.
Carousel 02:20
lyrics
Somewhere, far from here Each step you take will be filled with fear Careful, you might disappear On the haunted carousel Sometime, long ago Clowns and creatures put on a show Frozen grins are still aglow On the haunted carousel The carnival barker took the ticket from my hand And sent me away For another day While the carousel ponies kept on moving up and down In the final hour They will steal your power Some way, you never win And the circus seems to be closing in Run away from what might have been On the haunted carousel The carnival barker took the ticket from my hand And sent me away For another day While the carousel ponies kept on moving up and down In the final hour They will steal your power Somehow, yesterday Everyone had a price to pay You’ve already made your way To the haunted carousel
20.
Writer's Block 01:15
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Selections from AFTERGLOW, DJINN, and OUT OF TIME

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released August 6, 2022

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Jeannie Novak Santa Monica, California

Jeannie taught herself to read music and play the piano at age five. She started performing professionally and composing original music by age 12. Jeannie is also a game developer, author and photographer.

1) Moonrise: vocal/piano songs; 2) Reign of Fire: solo piano astronomy-themed concept album; 3) Synch: piano improvs synched to footage; 4) Horrorshow: horrorshow.bandcamp.com ... more

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